The Anit-Religious Sign in Olympia

This reminds me of a story:

True story. Many years ago I had an acquaintance who was involved in Theatre and had a strict Christian upbringing. Her family did not approve of her acting. They thought it was sinful and inproper for a godly young woman. She herself was not particularly religious and, like many of us in the theatre, looked on the theatre and her friends in it as a refuge from the psychological repression that her religious family represented. Like it has done for many of us, theatre saved her life, and like it has done to millions of people since it started, religion made her life nearly unbearable. As if the psychological abuse of religious fundamentalism wasn't enough, at the ripe old age of 23, she got cancer and she died. Her funeral was attended by her family and her friends. The services were extremely religious and spent a great deal of time talking about what Jesus did for her in her life, how much she loved God and Jesus, and how she's finally reunited with them in heaven. All of us theatre sinners were relegated to the outskirts of the service. Later at a gathering of the friends I couldn't take it anymore and started mouthing off (if you know me, you know my internal censor has a short battery life). I railed against religion and repressive families and stated that it was spitting on her memory to talk about how important God was to her, when it was God that made her unhappy for so much of her life and if God existed he was evil for allowing this nice, talented young woman to be struck down by something as painful as cancer at 23 fucking years old long before she could have had anything that could be called 'a life'. I probably said some other things but I don't remember. It was a long time ago and I was ranting.

In retrospect I was 100% correct in what I said, but I was 100% wrong in the time and place to discuss it and the way in which I presented it. The owner of the house was somewhat religious and we were all upset; instead of supporting my friends in times of trouble, I turned the whole thing for a few minutes into a forum for my views. That was wrong and I ended up apologizing to the host.

I think the same thing can be said about the Anti-Religious sign in Olympia. The content is all correct, but the context was ill considered. I know. We all get tired. When you're surrounded by people who disfigure their lives and their minds and the lives and minds of their children, sometimes you just lose it and start mouthing off. That's why so many atheists are called arrogant by the religious community. The goal though should not be to lose our cool. We are the more rational position, and we are therefore held to a higher standard of rational behavior. I applaud the Washington State government for honoring the separation of church and state and allowing us the forum, but let's face it: We blew it.

I No Longer Believe in the 9/11 Conspiracy BUT...

Contrary to what many skeptics say about conspiracy theorists, I have changed my mind based on new information.

I finally got an explanation to the lynch pin of my belief in the 'inside job' hypothesis: The melting temperature of steel. The melting point of industrial steel is several thousand degrees higher than jet fuel burns, so therefore the fire could not have melted the beams and caused the collapse, right? Well, that's what I thought, and I wasn't alone. There is a fundamental flaw though and that's that while the temperature at which steel liquefies is much higher than burning jet fuel, the temperature at which steel can bow and warp is a few hundred degrees lower than jet fuel (think of a blacksmith melting iron with coal fire). So there you go. That's how it happened.

HOWEVER, I would have encountered this information a lot earlier if the defenders of the official version hadn't been such dicks. Whenever the questions were brought up, the believers in the official version would engage in ad hominem attacks and never (and I did a lot of Internet research) NEVER address the scientific issues beyond some vague appeal to authority (the FAA said it was this way and therefore it's true). No melt versus sag discussion ever came up. Instead they would say that what the non-believers were saying was horrible and unpatriotic. Okay, let's put that idea right out of it's misery. If I am riding in a car and for some reason I think, even if I'm wrong, that the driver is a maniac who has set the car on fire and is running over pedestrians, and I speak up and say "Hey, I think this driver might be a maniac." that doesn't mean that I hate the car. It means that I have a concern that should probably be addressed, whether I'm right, or wrong. "Why do you think that?" is infinitely more constructive than "You're just crazy." It's not an insult to the memories of the victims to investigate 9/11. If someone died and you think they were murdered it's not and insult to their memory to try to find the murderer. In fact, how many movies, books, plays, and TV shows have been based on the unassailable morality of trying to find someone's killer? Even if you turn out to be incorrect, it is never wrong to ask the question.

It's also worth noting that people felt that their government was capable of doing this. It's worth addressing why people in "the greatest country in the world", as we're always reminded that we are, feel that the people that run things are capable of mass murder. Deep down, we think our leaders are monsters. Maybe they should consider trying to...I don't know...not seem like monsters. Frankly, while I no longer believe that they actually did plan and execute 9/11, I have no problem, in light of the last 7 years, believing that they are capable of doing it; not intellectually, but ethically. They're not capable of pull it off, but they're capable of wanting to. The opportunistic way they have trotted out the little black dress of 9/11 every time they needed to justify some new war or draconian domestic policy, demonstrates that.

I still believe though, that its possible that our people saw it coming and let it happen. No proof, mind you. Just a suspicion. After all:

"Further, the process of transformation, even if it brings revolutionary change, is likely to be a long one, absent some catastrophic and catalyzing event – like a new Pearl Harbor".

- Project For a New American Century's 2000 report Rebuilding America's Defenses

Y'know What You Don't Hear Much anymore...?

Stress and strain
Liver and onions
Wheat germ
G-String
Push-up bra
Head cleaner
Ebonics
Diet Rite
RPMs
High score
Kilobyte
Usenet
Chiropracty
Datsun
Indemnity
Sukiyaki
Hibachi
Winnebago
Bullhonky
Jasper
Airplane glue
Hoodoo
Warlock
The runs
Prune juice
Hobo
Purse snatcher
Pickpocket
Carny
Underarm
Hard water
Air breaks
Juvenile delinquent
Camper van
Tree surgeon
Flypaper
TV Dinner
Station identification
Shoeshine
Car phone
Klondike
Pop top
Snow cone
Keep on Truckin'
Upper
Downer
Pizza Pie
Saccharine
Frankfurter
Togs
Langustino


This is fun! Feel free to add your own!

2 Words I Made Up

Falacio
1) the act of pretending to perform oral sex, as they do in (non porn) movies
2) the act of performing oral sex grudgingly, while acting like you enjoy doing it
3) the act of peforming passive-aggressively poor oral sex; that is to say oral sex so bad that you will never be asked to do it again


Lesbariner
1) a small woman who is sexually attracted to very tall women (think climbing)

Jesus Owes Me $50 - part 2

One night I had a dream--
I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord and across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints, one belonged to me and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of my life flashed before me,I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that many times along the path of my life,there was only one set of footprints.
I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in my life.
This really bothered me and I questioned the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,you would walk with me all the way,but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. "
I don't understand why in times when I needed you most,you should leave me."
The Lord replied,
"Are you fucking kidding?! There are almost 7 billion people on the planet! I had things to do!"
Then he kicked me in the balls and took my wallet.

Truth! - part 11

If it were the late 80's or early 90s, the following statement might make someone say "Word!" and then give me five:


The best reason to believe in Sasquatch? It doesn't cost you anything. Unless you are a Zoologist or are spending money to go on a Sasquatch expedition, it has no effect on your life at all. Personally I think it would be much cooler to be in a world where there are giant bipedal apes running around than being in a world sans giant bipedal apes, and since I'll never know the answer, never search for the answer, and if the answer shows up it won't change my life in the slightest, call me a Sasquatch believer. If it starts costing money, I may reevaluate that stance.

This may be weird coming from a Beatles fan, but I think Yoko Ono is pretty cool.

Nothing that I have voted for that's passed, including candidates, has ever turned out badly. All the stuff that's turned out badly was stuff I didn't vote for. Maybe I know more about politics than I thought. Maybe instead of voting, y'all should just ask me.

When you know someone who is severely retarded for many years, it's hard to get a sense of how old they are. My cousin Kelli just died. She had Down's syndrome and was mentally about 2 or 3, and I have no idea how old she actually was. My best guess is slightly older than me, because I don't ever remember her being child sized. But then I don't remember her prior to 1980 or so either. Maybe she was younger than me and I just didn't meet her until she was adult sized. It's pretty weird to think about.

Unless you've been living in a cave, you've heard the rumor that Muslim believe that they will be greeted in heaven by 72 virgins as a reward for a suicide bombing. First off, they don't actually believe that. It's a lie fed to you to make your enemy seem subhuman and carnal so that you can be more easily steered around by fear. Read this. Second, regardless of whether it's supported by the Koran and the Hadiths or not, it's a dumb idea. As anachronistic as the beliefs of fundamentalist Islam may seem to someone who believes a real scientific belief like Christianity (sarcasm), they're not stupid. Anybody who has had sex with both virgins and non-virgins can tell you...virgins are lousy lays. Imagine eternity (not just a long time, ETERNITY) having awkward, clumsy, embarrassed sex with 72 giggling, naive, prisses (imagine Mormons) that, no matter how much experience they get, they never seem to get any more skillful. That would be hell, not heaven. Maybe that's the point, because the Koran and the Hadiths both agree: suicide is terrible and it makes Allah mad. (Wow, consistency in religion. Who'da thunk it?)

George Carlin is starting to look like my late grandma.

No matter how you slice it, UFOs are interesting. It's nonsensical to say you don't believe in them (unless you genuinely believe that no one has ever looked up and seen something they couldn't recognize), so the real point of contention is just what they really are. Alien space craft? Interesting. Classified military gizmos? Interesting. A huge hoax involving millions of people all over the world? Wow, that's unbelievably interesting. Delusions and hallucinations of millions of people all over the world? Holy crap, that's interesting! In light of all this, the alien spacecraft explanation is the LEAST interesting possibility. I defy you to find an explanation for UFOs that isn't in the slightest bit interesting. To claim otherwise...well, you're just in denial.

Love, Compromise, and Seafood...

I just had a thought that I've never heard anybody express before. In compromising with one's mate, it's the small things that go away. You get to keep the things you like a lot (as long as your lover loves you and you express your likes adequately), but you can lose things you only like a little bit out of simple logistics. I specifically have in mind scallops. My girly hates them and I kinda like them. I don't love them though and therein lies the problem. I can't prepare them as a meal for the two of us, and if I'm cooking for myself or out at a restaurant, I'm probably not going to waste it on something I only kinda like like scallops. I'm probably going to get something I like better, like steak or shrimp. Or if she is inclined to get me a treat, it would never occur to her that scallops would be a treat, because I only kinda like them. For weird logistical reasons, I may never eat scallops again. It's weird to think about. Kinda makes me want scallops.